As I brought my son to school, I saw a mom riding a bike, pulling her son in one of those attached carriers meant for toddlers.
He was in 6th grade.
It was embarrassing to witness...
and yet I participate in this foolishness.
Most of us are raising boys into adult babies.
We cook, clean, make their beds, do their laundry, give them baths, and rush in to do everything they can (and should) totally do for themselves...WELL beyond the age where they are fully capable.
We remove any and all obstacles, robbing them of the opportunity to become strong, capable men.
We end up exhausted and resentful, although the whole cycle is something that we created.
These boys become men who:
- lack basic life skills.
- can't make decisions.
- are weak.
- can't solve problems.
- don't know how to take care of themselves or others.
We create men who take, extract, and violate the feminine, and then wonder why this is happening worldwide.
Women love to point fingers and blame men for how everything has gone wrong.
We don't love turning towards ourselves to see how we participate.
Yes, this is co-created. Yes, there are many reasons why the relationship between women and men is so damaged. But this is one thing that mothers need to own. And we need to stop.
I see how I do this with my son and I have to take responsibility.
Once we make the unconscious conscious, we must change the dynamic, otherwise we're choosing to perpetuate harm.
It's a hard pill to swallow, but I am here to raise him into a good man, to break the cycle.
Speaking to this in such a direct way will make many uncomfortable.
That doesn't make it any less true.
So, I want to hear from all the boy moms here.
What can we own + how can we do it differently?
How do we really raise boys into good men?