After having some wild younger years, I’m now settling into what some people may consider ‘vanilla.'
I'm not a fan of labels, but I could use these today: female, heterosexual, monogamous, woman.
I feel so old.
Back in the day, I broke all the rules with promiscuity, drugs, bisexuality, androgyny, angry feminism, Doc Martins, getting arrested (lol!!) and all the non-conformist expressions.
Now I still don’t fit in, but in a very different way. 😁
It’s been really fun to experience life full spectrum. But being in a monogamous union with a man practicing sacred polarity has been the MOST healing experience of my life.
As far as I’m concerned, anyone can do ANYTHING they want to do in WHATEVER way they want to do it. But for those of you who are called to explore conscious, high-level, super passionate-for-years monogamy, this is your place and I am your guide.
I'm getting back on Clubhouse this Friday with some friends after taking a break. We'll be talking about monogamy vs. open relationships.
Photo of me by @shyheartstudios
Lots of events coming up. Hope to see you there!
Join this popup to learn the basics of polarity, the key to creating attraction and keeping the fire alive in relationships. Ask q's in the chat! Click link above in the title to join.
MASTERCLASS: The Power of Conscious Relationships
Saturday, July 3rd
1 PM PST
Learn why romantic relationships have such powerful potential to help us grow, and understand how you can move towards this with powerful tools and techniques. If you're single, allow these teachings to bring a new vision to what you want to create in future partnerships. Come ask questions + receive laser coaching.
WOMEN'S CIRCLE: Opening to Sensuality
Saturday, July 17th
4:00 - 5:30 PM PST
July's Circle is all about connecting to the Divine Feminine. How do you connect with your body, intuition, pleasure, emotions? How easy is it for you to shift out of the more masculine-oriented rational mind into these other ways of being? This circle will be a combination of teaching, embodiment, and community building.
WORKSHOP: Masculine/Feminine Polarity
Saturday, July 24th
3:00 PM PST
Polarity is the key to attraction, and yet many people lack a fundamental understanding of it. Learn how to work with masculine/feminine polarity in your current relationship or while dating in order to keep the fire going long-term. You'll learn how to put polarity into practice in a non-dogmatic way where you're allowed to be your full spectrum self.
"One thing about awakened monogamy: It makes possible the kind of relationship that can transcend relationship. Touching the One through the two. Freedom through intimacy.
Awakened monogamy is, in other words, a liberating bondage, a deeply joined freefall into what really matters.
Multiple-partnering is too wrapped up in the payoffs and juicy distractions of the shallow end of the pool to consistently generate the depth possible through awakened monogamy."
- Robert Augustus Masters
Having lived this over the past three years, I can tell you this is 100% the truth.
I honestly don't care what kind of relationship arrangement you have, but I stand by my firm belief that monogamy is the deepest form of spiritual partnership.
Many people exploring open relationships only do so as a band aid for fundamental problems in their primary partnership.
I've seen it time and time again that when people open the relationship, it's the beginning of the end.
Regardless of whether it works for those choosing it or not, you simply cannot have the depth with multiple people that you can have with one partner.
Are you into depth or superficiality?
There's no right or wrong, it just depends on what you want.
If I knew that my partner was sleeping with other people, I would NEVER be able to open fully to him, and vice versa.
And the more you open, the more you allow your partner to see ALL OF YOU, and that's where the profound healing and connection takes place. That's where all of a sudden you catapult your evolution into realms you never knew existed.
This is why we are advocates for conscious monogamy.
My work isn't for everyone, but if this speaks to you, let's reclaim monogamy as a spiritual vehicle for our highest evolution and teach others to do the same.
What are your thoughts on monogamy vs. open relationships? Let me know in the comments below.
Most women are acting way too masculine, and I want to talk about how this is hurting women (+ men).
We all have a mix of masculine + feminine inside, and it’s fine to play along the spectrum consciously.
And if there are women who truly lean more towards the masculine because that’s part of their core essence, that’s great.
But FAR too many women have taken on overly masculine characteristics because of:
🌹 Unhealed trauma
🌹 Social conditioning
🌹 Generally feeling unsafe in their feminine
I’ve spoken a lot about how I used to operate primarily from my masculine (without being conscious of it, obviously)...
And not just from my masculine, but from a REALLY wounded version of it.
Because of 𝚜𝚎𝚡𝚞𝚊𝚕 + emotional abuse as well as cultural programming, I had a ton of internalized misogyny that I directed outwards onto women around me (but mostly onto myself.)
I was swimming in drugs and alcohol + engaging in all sorts of self-destructive behaviors meant to kill my soft, sensitive, intuitive, emotional parts.
Friends observed that I was a completely different person sober vs. drunk/high. Sober I couldn’t function as the true version of myself, so I self-isolated.
Healing my relationship with my femininity has been the #1 most important thing, and continues to be, as it is a never ending exploration of peeling back the layers.
Allowing myself to soften and surrender into my feminine had to happen alongside me forgiving my father + working through anger towards men.
Only then was I able to check my trauma for the armor that I had put on.
Now I have a man that I trust wholeheartedly, who truly honors my femininity, and I’m telling you that this is the work that women have to do to attract this type of man.
"In our culture, suppressed Feminine fury is either turned back upon itself in a mood of self-destruction, or propelled outward in a mood of rage."
- David Deida, Intimate Communion
When women are imbalanced, we may experience:
🌹 Disconnection from our bodies
🌹 Emotional suppression
🌹 Inability to relax and surrender
🌹 Lackluster 𝚜𝚎𝚡 + low libido
🌹 Disconnection from our intuition
🌹 Anxiousness and/or depression
🌹 Weight gain as a form of protection
🌹 Overwhelm + irritability
🌹 Inability to open to love, abundance, and life itself.
What are some other things you've experienced? Let me know in the comments below.
Men lose, too, because women lack radiance, vibrancy, joy, and pleasure. We’re constantly busy, lack a soft and receptive heart, can’t relax, don't fully open in the bedroom, and are snappy and irritable.
Clearly this situation has been co-created. Both men and women have played a part.
That is why I ALWAYS advocate for both women’s and men’s work.
Here are some other requirements:
We honor the feminine as much as the masculine.
We make it safe for the feminine to be reclaimed, and encourage yin/yang to rebalance universally.
We become aware of how healing it can be to slow down, soften, and surrender.
We remove the protective armor of over-masculinization.
We take responsibility for healing our trauma.
We move past anger and victim mentality into what we TRULY want to create for our lives.
We make the choice to change now.
We make the choice to live in accordance with our values.
We make the choice of who we’re in relationships with.
We make the choice of what we want to build together.
In this time of collective wake up calls, now’s the time to see with clear eyes.
What’s one thing you can commit to shifting today?
If this is something you're motivated to work on with my support, please book a call with me here so we can talk more about how to get you there.
Photo by @noirboudoir
I want to hear from you if your parents had a happy, healthy, lasting relationship when you were growing up.
You were shown what an incredible relationship looks like: one filled with open communication, love, and trust. And they ALSO modeled healthy 𝚜𝚎𝚡uality through regularly showing affection and keeping the spark alive.
Did you witness that? If so, let me know in the comments below, and tell us how this has had a positive impact on your life.
I also want to hear from you if you did NOT witness this, and the impact it's had on you, too.
I witnessed the complete opposite, and it took me 40 years to be able to do it VERY differently.
I don't want it to take you 40 years. I don't want it to take my son 40 years. I want people to learn this from the VERY BEGINNING, and that's why spending time healing your relationship with love, 𝚜𝚎𝚡 and relationships is SO MUCH BIGGER THAN JUST YOU.
Yes, this is something that is incredible for you to have. But more importantly, it's what you model out into the world - to your friends, family, and children.
Do you want another generation of humans broken in love? Continuing to pass on wounds in a cycle that never ends?
NO. Me neither.
That's why I've dedicated my life to this work.
Reach out and schedule a call with me if you need support.
The work that I do goes way beyond helping you have hot 𝚜𝚎𝚡, but that's definitely a part of it.
In my opinion, practicing conscious relationships actually leads to mind blowing 𝚜𝚎𝚡, because the relationship feels SO good, SO healthy, and SO safe that you're able to FULLY open to your partner.
It's only from that place of allowing someone to witness you fully that you transcend superficiality and enter the realms of intimate, spiritual partnership - what God intended for us all.
When is the last time you allowed someone to witness you completely? ALL parts of you? The full majesty of what makes you, you?
What parts do you hide away? Have you ever given those parts the opportunity to be seen + loved completely?
That doesn't feel safe? I hear you on that...
This is why the #1 thing couples should strive for is creating the safety for ALL parts to be held, loved and accepted.
That is the greatest gift you can give to your partner + also to yourself.
If you DON'T feel safe being fully yourself, despite your best efforts at improving the relationship, then leave.
(I say that with such compassion - if you haven't read my story, go to my about page.)
I guide people towards high-level, passionate relationships and know this is possible for EVERY person to achieve.
Reach out and schedule a call with me if you want this in your life.