As I brought my son to school, I saw a mom riding a bike, pulling her son in one of those attached carriers meant for toddlers.
He was in 6th grade.
It was embarrassing to witness...
and yet I participate in this foolishness.
Most of us are raising boys into adult babies.
We cook, clean, make their beds, do their laundry, give them baths, and rush in to do everything they can (and should) totally do for themselves...WELL beyond the age where they are fully capable.
We remove any and all obstacles, robbing them of the opportunity to become strong, capable men.
We end up exhausted and resentful, although the whole cycle is something that we created.
These boys become men who:
- lack basic life skills.
- can't make decisions.
- are weak.
- can't solve problems.
- don't know how to take care of themselves or others.
We create men who take, extract, and violate the feminine, and then wonder why this is happening worldwide.
Women love to point fingers and blame men for how everything has gone wrong.
We don't love turning towards ourselves to see how we participate.
Yes, this is co-created. Yes, there are many reasons why the relationship between women and men is so damaged. But this is one thing that mothers need to own. And we need to stop.
I see how I do this with my son and I have to take responsibility.
Once we make the unconscious conscious, we must change the dynamic, otherwise we're choosing to perpetuate harm.
It's a hard pill to swallow, but I am here to raise him into a good man, to break the cycle.
Speaking to this in such a direct way will make many uncomfortable.
That doesn't make it any less true.
So, I want to hear from all the boy moms here.
What can we own + how can we do it differently?
How do we really raise boys into good men?
What I love about my man is that he doesn't leave.
No matter how strong and intense my energy is, he doesn't leave.
He welcomes it. He can handle my charge, and he sees how it sharpens his own sword of Presence.
This allows me the safety and security to peel back the layers of all of my masks/ego so that I can stand in front of him in true Authenticity.
And then the container gets stronger with SO MUCH Trust that our connection is profound beyond words.
My man doesn't leave.
Even when my nervous system can't possibly hold the amount of love that he's directing at me and I try to escape feeling the intensity of that charge, and his full presence, leading me to unconsciously self-sabotage what we have in subtle ways.
Gay and Kathleen Hendricks pinpoint that the only problem in awakened, conscious relationships is the Upper Limit Problem.
That the only thing you REALLY have to watch out for at this level is blocking your own ability to experience the majesty of such a high-level container, which often plays out through unconscious self-sabotage.
They write, "most of us cannot be close to others for very long without creating a problem to limit the positive energy."
This is what we're playing with right now. Can we allow the high vibrational energy that we co-created in our relationship to run through our system without freaking out and trying to block it from coming in?
We often think that we avoid relationships when things get hard, and that's true, but can you ask yourself if the opposite is also true? That you simply can't handle the charge of SO MUCH GOODNESS?
In what ways are you committed to expanding your nervous system's ability to hold maximum joy, love, and pleasure?
Photo by the amazing @jonniwestside
People ask me how they can work with me privately. I want to explain a few things to save everyone time.
First - my work is not for everybody. I am here to work with a select group of individuals who can benefit the most from my work. This is why I have a screening process for new clients.
You must desire monogamy, whether you are single or not.
You must be willing to move out of victim mentality.
You must be open to seeing uncomfortable truths about yourself. This requires a true growth mentality.
You must trust that I'll always guide you to your highest self from a place of love and service, and in order to do that, it might not always feel easy. This takes a certain amount of resilience and devotion to the highest version of you.
At the same time, you open to the possibility that our work together can also feel deeply pleasurable and expansive. It doesn't always have to be "hard" to transform. If you can truly welcome the opportunity to grow with open arms, rather than bracing yourself for the perceived difficulty it will entail, it will make the process much easier.
You must understand that you're making an investment in your experience of growth and transformation. You are not buying time with me.
I share all of this with you because it is my responsibility to clearly communicate this to prospective clients.
It would be irresponsible of me to accept everyone into my world. The truth is, not everyone is ready. And that's okay.
This is not a judgment on people. It's just a reality, and I want to be very transparent. Otherwise, I would be coming from an unethical place.
If you have any questions, we can discuss them on an intro call. It is my deepest desire to help guide people towards incredible love and relationships. So if you're open and ready, I would love to have you in my world.
Photo by the incredible @garethlewis
There are a lot of problematic teachings currently happening in "the scene," so please watch if you're using polarity in your relationships/dating.
I've spoken about the dogma since day one, but get very clear and specific in this video.
Have you felt the restrictiveness in the way masculine/feminine polarity is being taught?
Do you feel that the energetics of masculine and feminine are being taught in a watered down, superficial, dogmatic way?
Additionally, I touch upon why you do not (and should not) have polarity activated 100% of the time.
This is a very important video to watch if you're interested in polarity, or are currently applying the teachings.
Let me know any questions or comments you may have so we can iron it all out. The core universal truths of polarity remain in tact, but we need to be careful about filtering them through the lens of ego vs. truth.
There's multiple ego deaths + rebirths happening over here. It feels exciting, necessary, and totally inconvenient.
I've ALWAYS experienced the biggest breakthroughs by opening to the most uncomfortable truths.
(Have you, too?)
That's why from a place of love + service, my work has an element of tough love.
For those of us that do well with this approach, the sword of truth/love can get right to the core, quickly.
I've been told multiple times that my work is "confronting."
I am not here to placate or enable you. That would actually be the opposite of love.
I refuse to water down my work to make it easier to swallow, and I trust my people are strong, hearty and willing to do the work.
We have to ask ourselves often, are we truly placing ourselves out of our comfort zones? For the benefit of humanity?
At this stage in my life + career, I've shifted from the sweet, overprotective enabler into the archetype of Kali Ma who wields the sword of truth + love to destroy all that no longer serves you.
One of the most misunderstood expressions of the feminine: as fearsome as she may appear, she is actually the most compassionate.
Most of us turn away from experiences like this.
Some of us willingly call them in.
I serve people who are brave + ready.
Whenever you are against the body, you are going against God. - Osho
WOMEN'S CIRCLE: Opening to Sensuality
Saturday, July 17th
4:00 - 5:30 PM PST
July's Circle is all about connecting to the divine feminine. How do you connect with your body, intuition, pleasure, emotions? How easy is it for you to shift out of the more masculine-oriented rational mind into these other ways of experiencing life?
This circle will be a combination of teaching, sharing, embodiment, and community building.
FREE for members
$44 for non-members
Link in bio - Upcoming Events ✨
Photo via @thealeeshasimone
Truly my favorite conversation ever with transformational coach and menâs work leader Mikaal Bates about masculine/feminine polarity, David Deidaâs three stages of relationship, conscious/spiritual partnership, and SO much more.
What questions or comments do you have for us?
We are passionate about this work and want to hear from you.
In this IGTV video, I speak about the obvious tie-in between the masculine + feminine and our physical bodies.
Men and women are VERY different creatures, and that is sacred and holy. This is something that is currently being minimized or bypassed by the new wave of polarity teachers.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments - let's discuss!
I remember the universe smacking me HARD across the face back in 2015 when my therapist made the wise observation that people pleasing was manipulative (of course this was in relation to how I was showing up in the relationship.)
My ex and I were in the throes of darkness, trying to repair our far-gone marriage with 2x weekly counseling.
A huge theme was that I was not being my true self - I was putting him on a pedestal and shapeshifting myself into whatever I thought he wanted me to be for his love + approval (I guess you could label that an extreme form of people pleasing).
As it washed over me that I had totally abandoned myself while simultaneously manipulating him into believing I was something that I was not (obviously not on purpose, but you know…) I felt the sting. I finally began to understand co-creation + ownership of my behavior + the realization that I needed to do some serious work on self-love.
Obviously we do this not because we want to be manipulative, but because we feel we don’t have any other choice. The real version of us that we could show up as is just not lovable or worthy.
Nevertheless, it’s behavior that needed to change, and as I relaxed back into my true self and REALLY got in touch with who I was + what I needed, the relationship unraveled and we eventually divorced.
I share this story with you because:
1) I know so many can relate, and
2) I want to tell you that being your authentic self is ALWAYS the way.
I never would’ve attracted Andrés if I hadn’t healed that pattern...
and I want to empower you to get SO real with who you are, what you need, and what you have to offer that there’s simply no other way to be.
Let me know in the comments why you’re DONE with people pleasing + abandoning yourself.
Let’s collectively burn that sh-t to the ground.
As a full spectrum woman, I can be the sweetest, most unconditionally loving person you will ever meet, but I’ll also burn all of your sh-t to the ground if need be, Kali style.
Both, of course, are coming from a deep place of love + service.
The latter is becoming easier and easier to embrace as I get older, because I’ve been through the fire and am experiencing the deliciousness of a woman in her 40’s owning her power and wisdom.
The one who cackles at the foolishness of the ones who don’t know.
The one who is fed up with everybody walking on eggshells, getting triggered by teeny tiny things, and generally being weak as f-ck.
The one who sees mainstream culture enabling victim mentality, calling everything trauma, and profiting off of it.
The one who observes false leaders spouting pop psychology/philosophy/ spirituality who have NEVER walked the walk or embodied what they teach.
My ideal people are tired of bullsh-t excuses for why their lives + relationships are subpar, and are ready to transform.
They finally see with clear eyes what's dragging them down and ALSO impacting everyone around them.
They aren't willing to live their life like that anymore.
When you absolutely can’t bear another day of living out of alignment, when you are ready to create passionate love that’s beyond your wildest dreams, when you’re TRULY ready to roll up your sleeves and do the work, then that’s when I want to help you.
Today, I call forth the warriors who are ready to live powerfully. To live a life they are proud of on their dying day.
I was teaching a masterclass this weekend and was floored by what came through. I led people through literally EVERYTHING they need to know to experience love beyond their wildest dreams.
My work is a combination of living a life full of rich learning lessons + my skills as a psychologist + actually being with the love of my life.
Downplaying how good I am was a quality I possessed for so long, but that helps no one. The ability that I have to help others transform is far beyond ego. It's a gift straight from the divine and I bow down to God every day.
I know everything you need to do to build the relationship of your dreams. But I haven't specifically been calling forth the people who are ready, now.
I've practiced as a psychologist for over ten years. I've been through the fire in every area of my own life. And I am now living the dream of an incredible spiritual partnership with the man of my dreams.
Andres and I are experiencing the kind of love that most people will never experience, because they aren't ready to get real and own their sh-t.
But I want that to change, and desperately want people to feel what we feel.
You just have to be willing and open to trust my ability to see everything that needs to be adjusted in your life now. And you have to know that I'm doing this from a place of deep love + service.
I only take on a few private clients at a time, because my work is rich and meaningful and meant to excavate all of the garbage holding you back from greatness.
Although we focus on relationships, this work literally uplevels your whole life.
I've opened my schedule over the next seven days to meet with those who are ready. After that I am closing my doors for private clients for the next few months.
The deadline to schedule a call with me is next Thursday, July 15th. We'll meet for 20 minutes to see if we're a good fit, and take it from there.
I'm not sending out any reminders about when this will close. So if you're ready now, use the link below to schedule.